Are you feeling 'fat' to escape your true emotions?

'Fat' isn't an emotion, but your feeling is valid. There might just be something else going on that needs your attention...

What follows will help you make sense of that feeling and manage it so that you can feel less ‘fat’.

First, reflect: When you feel ‘fat’, what else is going on for you?

• What clothes are you wearing?

• What have you eaten?

• Have you moved your body at all recently?

• Where in your cycle are you?

Compare this to when you feel most confident in your body. If this is difficult, consider keeping a body image diary where you keep track of your thoughts and feelings about your body and the circumstances that surround those thoughts.

What you’ll probably notice is that your thoughts and feelings about your body correlate with certain factors. You are likely to feel more confident when you have been to the gym, or you’re keeping up a consistent exercise routine, or eating healthy meals or wearing clothes that you feel are flattering, or you’re just in a good mood! Whereas you likely feel less confident, or ‘fat’, when you’ve eaten a big meal, you feel bloated, you’ve been sat down all day, you’re wearing tight clothing, or you’re stressed or sad.

Feelings of fatness have little to do with our actual physical appearance. These feelings can fluctuate in intensity and frequency from day to day. The reality is that bodies don't change that quickly... so although you’re experiencing the sensation of carrying excess weight it doesn’t necessarily reflect your true amount of body fat. Your body is probably not the problem!

So what’s really going on?

This is an example of mislabelling your experience.

When you have a large meal and eat past fullness, feeling ‘fat’ is code for feeling uncomfortable, guilty, frustrated.

When you compare yourself to someone in the gym, feeling ‘fat’ is code for insecure, self-conscious, unworthy.

Your body is essentially a scapegoat for uncomfortable feelings and experiences.

In those moment that you’re feeling ‘fat’, use the feelings wheel to identify what you are actually feeling. Which of the words resonates most with you in that moment? Acknowledging those feelings, rather than displacing them or dismissing is essential to emotional wellbeing.

Simply naming the emotion takes it’s power away. It helps to bring your reaction under control so you can think clearly and objectively, rather than spiraling into a pit of despair.

Once you’ve identified how you’re feeling, fill in the gaps:

‘I feel ____ because ____’.

This is going to help relate the feeling to the trigger for the feeling, providing more clarity and allowing you to modify your behaviours to experience less triggers, or just to be prepared when you do experience those triggers.